Two Months Home

Yesterday marked two months since our gotcha day on March 9th.  Hard to believe two months has gone by.  We have been super busy meeting family, spending time with friends and making memories.  Our new normal is here and we are settling in nicely.  Nicely, but not necessarily easily.  This has been a crazy messy and hard two months.  At the same time it has been THE BEST two months of my life.  Nothing draws you closer to God than when you enter into something that requires total dependence on him.  And that is what this adoption journey is, total dependence on the one who is merciful, loving and compassionate.  This is not a 2 week long mission trip where you are dependent on God for 2 weeks for everything and then you go home and enter back into your comfortable life.  This is an everyday leaning and pushing into a God who molds you, guides you, disciplines you and ultimately shows you the way.  It is the most amazing incredible gift to be intimately connected to my Lord and savior this way.  Adjustment has taken time but I feel like we are starting to get over the hump.  And for me, for me I have needed much discipline, pruning, wisdom and guidance that only a Heavenly Father can give on a journey such as this.  And he is working in great ways as I start to to learn, to learn how to love, to learn how to parent a hurting child.  And he is working in great ways as I pray for my boys' hearts to be healed and my girls' hearts to be open to loving those who are hurt and sad.  I know more about psychology and the brain and attachment than I thought I ever would.  I am learning things I never thought I would.  And it is AMAZING!!!  Our boys are loving, sweet, kind, helpful and they are also fearful and hurt.  But God has blessed us with the wisdom each day to heal the hurts and to love well.  I am excited to continue to watch these beautiful boys grow physically and emotionally.  They will be world changers!!!  My constant prayer has been that my children would come to know Jesus, that they would love him with all their heart, that they would serve with all their heart and that they would live out the fullness of life that he has called them to.  This is the only thing that matters!!  When all of your comforts are stripped away, you realize the only thing that matters is Jesus.  I don't care how well my kids do in school, I don't care if they have a nice house and three kids and a dog someday, in fact I pray that their hearts would be broken for the things that break God's heart and that their life would be a challenge lived for Christ alone!!  God is doing great things in our life these days and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us and our world changing kids!!  

 This is our prayer these days:

I will pray for you now, for you have been my faithful friends
While the road we walk is difficult indeed
I couldn't not ask for more than what you've already been
Only that you would say these prayers for me
May your heart break enough that compassion enters in
May your strength all be spent upon the weak
All the castles and crowns you build and place upon your head
May they all fall, come crashing down around your feet
May you find every step to be harder than the last
So your character grows greater every stride
May your company be of humble insignificance
May your weakness be your only source of pride 
From the song Pray by Kendall Payne